Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
