PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
