How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
