You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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