My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize