i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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