he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
