drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Come on in and take your pants off
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