Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
