Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
