Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize