i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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