come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
His nipple licking is glorious
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