Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
