Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
