Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
