Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
