i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize