I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
