where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
