Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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