Already got asked if we're dating
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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