we have officially lost it.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
