We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
