That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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