you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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