i will never coherently bang her
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
