Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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