I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
