You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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