Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
