we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
