theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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