Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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