Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
