maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
