lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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