"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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