tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
