I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
