I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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