Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
