Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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