I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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