I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
