I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
