Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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