Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
