She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
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Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize