I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
