Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize