I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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