his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
