my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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