Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she told me i tasted like america
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
