hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
